Archive for: December, 2008

Give and grow

Published by under Inspiration, love, Practical

Giving is the secret to success

In this article I am going to talk about giving in a different form, not the financial type (although this is also important).

I am talking about the fact that it is advisable that every interaction between you and the rest of the world, especially other people will be accompanied with some sort of giving, this is the quickest way to grow and succeed.

Meeting

Every time that you speak to another person, even a passing conversation in the street or whilst on a night out, you must give this person something that will help them to grow.

It can be advice on a certain subject that you are familiar with that can better his life or it can be some practical advice on any subject, it may be a product you purchased or recommending a new shop or service that assisted you… anything that made you feel good and that relates to your conversation.

Try and change the habit which many of us have which is to bring too much of “ourselves” into the conversation, when I say “yourself” I mean bringing your ego into the conversation. You are “as if” listening to the person with whom you are conversing but what you are really doing is collecting pieces of information, like the adverts on Google that relate to certain words of theirs and then you respond with a story that contains information about how big, good and successful you are.

In such a case you belittle the other person and inevitably yourself.

Every interaction has to follow the slogan “more for all!”

And as we know – when you give, you receive in return what you have given in different ways and in much larger quantities.

A telephone conversation

You are having a conversation on the phone, let the other person grow, let him leave the conversation with a positive feeling.

It is very simple, everything begins with intent.

Before you speak or during your conversation simply ask yourself:

“ok, what can I give this person during this conversation” you don’t need to know the answer immediately, all that you need is to stay open and give your sub conscious the ability to find the gift that you can give this person during your conversation”.

Sometimes even a good word or some encouragement is plenty.

Giving in business

If you own a business or work in a customer service department and you would like to excel and grow, you have to practice giving in every transaction and in every interaction with a customer.

Give the customer something that is a little beyond what he has requested, give it to him for free, give him a good piece of advice, direct him towards a wiser purchase, recommend something else to him that he doesn’t know of and that can improve his life. Sometimes a smile and a pleasant manner is the best gift that you can give a customer, and if you do this, he will return to you intuitively, we love places and people that are good and warm towards us.

Personal giving

You also deserve to receive. You need to start practicing the giving from yourself.

When you are preparing a salad for yourself, don’t chop the vegetables aggressively and throw them into the bowl without any thought,

How would you prepare the salad if you had to provide an experience for important guests?

You would chop it nicely, decorate it with herbs, you would look for some nice cheese to decorate it with, and of course you wouldn’t be too lazy to chop the vegetables into nice small pieces that will put the final touch to the salad… do this also for yourself, yes, just for yourself, even if no one is looking, even if no one will compliment you on it, firstly give to yourself as you expect to give to others, to someone who is important to you.

You are at home and not intending to go out, so what? Spray your best perfume, rub your best moisturiser and tidy up your hair…hey! you have a date with yourself, right? Are you as important just like someone else who is important to you?

Giving has to start with yourself.

Give yourself more, everything that you are to yourself, has to have an element of growth, some added value that you bring to yourself.

On the internet

Emails and comments to others or forums have become an inseparable part of our everyday life.

When you reply to an email or write a comment, try and give it some added value of growth to people.

A few minutes ago I posted a comment on a website, my response was about half an article J i put together some practical tips within inspirational words.

And this is because I want to expand people … I want my readers to receive something as a gift for the time they spend reading my words, my intention is that after they have read my words (irrelevant whether the article is short or long) they will be inspired to take action or that the message will lift their thoughts to a higher level, from there they will gain access to better life enhancing ideas.

It doesn’t mean that every person you reply to has to receive a poem, story or weekly column… sometimes the pair of words “thank you” is certainly enough, when you have nothing left to add and you want to show gratitude, simply say thank you.

But, if you do have something to add, if you have a small tip or link or any information that can benefit the other person and help him grow in one way or another, don’t withhold the information from him. Be generous with quality information that can improve his life.

Don’t ever write comments that carry an extremely angry tone, or are inconsiderate. And it doesn’t matter in which media. Even if its a face to face conversation or over the phone, even more so over the internet as your reactions will stay there forever.

Your bad mood will pass within a few seconds or minutes… but your negative hasty reactions that left you when you were experiencing negative feelings will stay in the electronic media forever.

Is this the legacy that you want to leave behind? Will this expand you in any way or lift the people that will read your words? I think not.

On the contrary it will put you down, and everyone who reads it.

When you don’t have something nice to say it is best that you don’t say anything at all.

Even things that are a matter of fact can be expressed assertively and with respect for others.

“Don’t do to your friend what is hated by you”.

Or as the famous saying “what goes around comes around”.

So, how do we do all this without being fake, hypocritical, or selfish?

Below are a few important foundations to giving:

Give from the heart

Every piece of information or gesture that you give has to come from the heart.

Go with the approach of “even if nothing comes out of the information that I am passing around or the smiles that I am scattering… at least I will feel good with myself”.

You give out of love, and it doesn’t matter who this love is directed at. What is important is that this love comes from within and is genuine.

Go with the flow

Flow with the conversation, flow with the energy of the person opposite you and stay calm and open to give.

Your approach is what is important here.

Don’t be like some baseball player that is waiting attentively for the Ball to come his way so that he can strike it high above… and then run forward.

The fact that you are open and ready to give, will automatically lift you, and the person opposite you.

He will feel it in your energy and will also open up to giving. it may be that he also has something valuable to give you.

The universe often speaks to us through the words of people that we meet and converse with, directly or through the internet. Be prepared to give and open to receive.

Don’t expect to always receive full agreement of what you are saying, every person has its own set of values and beliefs, and everyone lives in a “reality” of his own. if you are offering something or trying to naturally lift a certain person but he is starting to resist and tries to enter into an argument with you where there is ego involved… do not participate in this game.

Also on the other hand do not try to force someone else to listen to what you have to say and accept your ways.

Giving is very gentle, it’s like a gift.

you have to present it, if the other side is not willing to accept, its also ok, nothing has happened. Simply smile and move on.

Relevance

Ok, so you have understood that it is important for you to give and that it is a secret to your development and success, but one must give in the correct relevance.

And this doesn’t mean that you should start sending your friend’s continuous power point presentations just because you want to give and give… respect the privacy and space of others.

Don’t give free advice to everyone that is around just because you want to give…

Your giving has to be relevant to whatever is going on, a conversation, a certain situation etc…

To conclude, giving has to be natural and flowing, it has to come from a genuine wish to improve, lift and please the universe.

This is a habit that leads to success.

The moment you lift someone, you both grow.

By Alex Ziv – Creating Reality (English by Michal Booker)

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