Tag Archive for 'Emotions'

Identifying the emotion

The following technique is especially practical.

It’s a combination of a technique which deals with emotions in children and the EFT technique (a technique for emotional freedom).

In the excellent book:

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

It is suggested that we help a child identify the emotion and define it together, in order to change a negative emotion quickly and wisely.

Usually, the facial expressions in children can teach us how they are feeling.

When we recognise for example that a child is sad, we help him define the emotion he is feeling.

Firstly we must ask the child and clarify with him:

“Are you feeling sad?” or “are you angry?”

Once we have had confirmation from him, we empathise with his emotion and say something like:

“I understand that you are sad, it’s probably really unpleasant…”

Or “I understand that you are angry, something probably made you angry, right?”

This simple observation and the empathic response with his feelings, gives him the ability to develop an emotional awareness and to begin identifying various emotions that he experiences himself,

Furthermore it shortens the “time spent” in this emotion; it releases him from it quickly.

I have seen how this works amazingly with children.

The interesting thing is that many adults do not have an emotional awareness. They were not taught how to deal with their emotions.

On the whole they repress what they are feeling and don’t take much notice of it.

They simply know that generally they are feeling “unwell” or that they are “not having fun”.

The reason in my opinion to why the technique of identifying the emotion works is because it creates disassociation, a distance from the annoying negative thoughts and thus the thoughts lose from their strength, they lose their hold on us when we stop holding onto them.This is why the first stage of recognising the emotion, if it’s sadness, anger, or worry, is a very important part and can eliminate half of the problem, and sometimes all of it.

How do we perform the first stage?

When a negative emotion is “holding” onto you or you are holding onto it, it can usually be felt in the body, there is an uncomfortable flow of energy.

Beyond that on the aspect of behaviour there is a lack of desire to do things, or a lack of optimism, or just a sour face with wrinkles that looks at you from the mirror.

In a situation such as this, the first thing to do is to identify the emotion.

Ask yourself and reply sincerely: “what is the emotion that I am currently feeling?”

The answer can be: “I am worried” or “I am angry” or “I am sad” etc…

The moment that you have identified the emotion, the first stage is complete.

During the second stage we will use elements from the EFT technique (a technique to emotional freedom).

We will place a definition into the following sentence that will express our feeling, for example:

“Even though I feel ________ (give a name to the feeling) I accept myself with love”.

You can improvise the second part so that it will suit you, another example is:

“Even though I feel ___________ (give a name to the feeling) I forgive myself and accept myself as I am.

After we have created a declaration, similar to that in the example, we start to tap with the fingers of our right hand on the palm of our left hand just below the little finger (pinkie).

We tap in the area and declare the statement (as in the example) “even though I am feeling anger, I love myself”. We then continue to tap and declare out loud a number of times.

Afterwards we continue to tap in the following places whilst declaring out loud only the name of the emotion that we have identified.

We say “anger” or “I am angry” again and again and start to tap in the following places at the same time as declaring the emotion:

Using the fingers of your right hand in the centre of the scalp, then above the eyebrows (you can do this with the fingers of both hands), on the side of the eyes, under the eyes, under the nose, below the mouth (between the mouth and chin), above the chest (left side) in the area that is below the rib cage, and under the armpits.

After a set such as this we are able to feel relief and stop identifying with the negative emotion that we were in a moment ago.

This exercise can be repeated a few times in order to get the best effect.

It has to be repeated until we feel that we have been released completely from this negative feeling.

I recommend that you check this out on a negative feeling that you are experiencing, and be convinced by its efficiency.

By Alex Ziv – Creating Reality (English By Michal Booker)